In the diverse landscape of New Zealand, Pacific fathers find themselves at the intersection of their cultural heritage and the demands of modern parenting. Born and raised in a different setting from their Pacific homelands, these fathers bring their unique
perspective to the challenges of raising children. Here, we briefly look into the lives of Pacific fathers in New Zealand exploring how they might cope with the complexities of parenthood.
Ways of coping with stress
Pacific Island fathers, like fathers from any culture, employ a variety of coping mechanisms to navigate the challenges of parenting. Below are some common coping strategies used by Pacific Island fathers:
1. Community Support: Pacific Island communities are typically close-knit and supportive. Fathers often rely on extended family, friends, and fellow community members for advice, assistance, and emotional support. This sense of community helps share the load of parenting and provides a safety net in times of need.
2. Cultural Traditions: Many Pacific Island fathers find comfort in their cultural traditions. These traditions include storytelling, dance, music, and ceremonies that connect them to their heritage. Engaging in cultural activities with their children helps them bond and instills a sense of pride in their cultural identity.
3. Spirituality and Faith: Spirituality plays a significant role in the lives of Pacific Island fathers. They often turn to their faith, attending religious services and seeking solace in prayer and meditation. Spirituality provides emotional strength and guidance in their parenting journey.
4. Open Communication: Pacific Island fathers emphasize the importance of open and honest communication with their children. They create an environment where their kids feel safe sharing their thoughts and feelings. Effective communication helps resolve conflicts and strengthens the parent-child relationship.
5. Nature and Outdoors: Many Pacific Island cultures have a deep connection to nature. Fathers often take their children outdoors to explore the natural world. This connection with nature provides a sense of tranquility and allows children to learn about their environment and heritage.
6. Preservation of Traditions: Teaching children about their cultural traditions and customs is a vital coping mechanism for Pacific Island fathers. Passing down these traditions ensures that their heritage lives on and helps children develop a sense of identity
and belonging.
7. Seeking Guidance: Pacific Island fathers are not hesitant to seek advice from older family members, mentors, or community leaders. They respect the wisdom of their elders and turn to them for guidance on parenting matters.
8. Celebrating Milestones: Pacific Island fathers often celebrate important milestones and achievements in their children's lives. These celebrations strengthen family bonds and create lasting memories.
9. Embracing Challenges: Pacific Island fathers view challenges as opportunities for growth. They take on the role of problem solvers and use difficulties as teaching moments, helping their children develop resilience and adaptability.
Other Coping Mechanisms
I wanted to share some other thoughts that have come from our teen parents of what has helped them to cope better when they were stressed:
1. Walk away and breathe.
2. Take time for yourself.
3. Listen or produce music (DJ, Production work)
4. Play music (instruments etc) or compose songs, poetry, rap.
5. Go to the gym, boxing, or martial arts.
6. Sports, be active.
7. Take a drive.
Conclusion
Pacific fathers born in New Zealand or not use a combination of community support, cultural traditions, spirituality, open communication, and a deep connection to nature to cope with the demands of parenting. These coping mechanisms enable them to navigate the challenges of parenthood while preserving their cultural heritage and nurturing strong, resilient families.
Their approach to fatherhood serves as an inspiring example, showing that the strength of Pacific Island culture can flourish even in the diverse and bustling landscapes of New Zealand, offering a rich tapestry of tradition and values to their children.
Part 3 to come next week: Taking care of YOU
Author: Mark Simiona, MHT Trustee & CEO, Level Up Aotearoa Charitable Trust, Nesian Power and Level Up Ltd, Executive Director of Te Ora Puāwai Ltd.
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